Good evening.
I've heard a lot of rubbish from critics and poor souls who are unable to suspend disbelief for a couple of hours when it comes to the new Dredd film starring Karl Urban as "Ol' Stony Face". So let's turn the tables on the critics.
1 - "The Judges armour is crap! It's just motorbike/motocross armour!" You may have noticed from the comics (if you're a true fan) and from the film that a Judge's primary mode of transport is the Lawmaster motorcycle. Next idiot, please...
2 - "The uniform isn't the same as in the comic!" Yet the same people who moaned about the uniform in the 2012 film had no problem with "artistic licence" when it came to things like The Fog having nothing to do with the book by James Herbert, or the main hero being written out of We Were Soldiers because of Mel Gibson's racist hatred of English people.
3 - "It's all set in one building!" To para-quote the Judge Dredd comic strip from 2000AD comic, a tower block in Mega City One is so big that it not only contains living space, but also hospitals, schools, shops, hypermarkets, etc. Therefore, it's possible for a citizen of Mega City One to be born, live and die without ever having left their block. And what difference would it make if it spanned more than just one block? If you wanted nothing but car chases, stick with Fast and Furious 27 or whatever.
4 - "There's no room for a sequel!" Really? You claim to be a fan and make a statement like that? May The Angel Gang, Owen Krysler, The Mutant, Chief Judge Cal, Sov Bloc One and the Four Dark Judges visit your dreams, you novice.
More crap comments posted later as they come.
In the mean time, stay out of trouble, citizen!
Wednesday 15 May 2013
Friday 12 April 2013
Judging on first appearances
Hello folks.
Something to make you think.
The guy you think isn't quite cool enough to date is the guy who's a Red Cross volunteer, last stationed in a war zone. The girl you think is just a bit too "fat" to be seen with is the same girl who spent way more than £5 on your Secret Santa present last year. The guy you think is a scruff is the same guy who helps his elderly neighbour take her trash out. The girl you think of as a bimbo is the girl who rescues mistreated horses and finds them new caring owners. The guy you think is so hot is the guy who's slept with almost every other woman in town. The man you think of as scum for having long hair is the man who talked a woman down from killing herself. The girl who no one wants sit next to on the bus home is the girl who cares for her dying father. The man who all the women in the office think is popular, witty and desirable is the guy who calls those same women behind their backs "fit slut" and gives each one a number rather than refer to them by name. The catty unapproachable woman cries herself to sleep each night. The rich old man can barely look his younger wife in the eye, much less show love to her. The muscle-bound weightlifter writes anonymous poems online which made thousands of women cry. The popular lad wishes he had a true friend to confide in. The sweet young lady secretly and irrationaly hates everyone she works with. The guy who everyone hero worships beat his last girlfriend and put her in hospital. The guy who thinks his group of mates like him, they call him a "douche" behind his back. The woman you think think of as well mannered and elegant broke a man's heart because he didn't own a motorbike or a house. The homeless guy once saved someone from muggers. The person who everyone thinks is caring and lovely removes people suffering with depression from their friend list on Facebook. The guy on Facebook with a sick sence of humour told your friends off for them slagging you off behind your back. The man who owns the most porn you know of also raises money for hospices and animal shelters. The guy who goth girls look down on and say isn't goth enough has seen the Sisters of Mercy, Xmal Deutschland and Bauhaus live. The man who Christians hate because he's gay works for the emergency services and helped a little girl save her mother's life. The Asian guy on the street you hate because he's a "Paki" gave you sound advice over the phone to help you out of debt. The ugly scarred man next door fought in the First Gulf Conflict. The man you refused to employ for having tattoos pulled a man from a burning house. The woman you think is a slut is a virgin and is waiting for Mr. Right. The shop clerk you spoke to like filth for no reason has feelings, a partner and children. The person you think is a perv thinks that you're inspiring. The person you're friends with because you both smoke has nothing else in common with you. The good friend you stopped being friends with because they slagged off smoking created your favourite website. The guy you think is weird for being into spiritualism watches your back. The man you think is level-headed wants to masturbate at women on the London Underground. The beautiful woman who looks down her nose at everyone she walks past is a stripper. The fat guy you walk past who always says "Good morning!" and you think of as odd is a paramedic. The person you deliberately didn't invite to your party because you think they're odd admires you. The guy you did invite because you think they're amazing is single because all the women he's been with find him obnoxious. You don't want to date the cute curvy redhead because she has a "Few extra pounds", even though she'd do anything for you. The stick-thin blonde you've always lusted after would sooner watch reality TV than get romantic with you. The person with one arm writes books. The person who goes to the gym everyday loves only themself. The person who you bullied at school everyday got married. The person who bullied you at school everyday and everyone else thought was cool is on heroin.
Each of us have our own stories. Each person is a complex lifeform. We've all done it, but try not to judge someone just on one aspect of their persona. You may get a pleasant surprise or a nasty shock, depending on your first impression.
Something to make you think.
The guy you think isn't quite cool enough to date is the guy who's a Red Cross volunteer, last stationed in a war zone. The girl you think is just a bit too "fat" to be seen with is the same girl who spent way more than £5 on your Secret Santa present last year. The guy you think is a scruff is the same guy who helps his elderly neighbour take her trash out. The girl you think of as a bimbo is the girl who rescues mistreated horses and finds them new caring owners. The guy you think is so hot is the guy who's slept with almost every other woman in town. The man you think of as scum for having long hair is the man who talked a woman down from killing herself. The girl who no one wants sit next to on the bus home is the girl who cares for her dying father. The man who all the women in the office think is popular, witty and desirable is the guy who calls those same women behind their backs "fit slut" and gives each one a number rather than refer to them by name. The catty unapproachable woman cries herself to sleep each night. The rich old man can barely look his younger wife in the eye, much less show love to her. The muscle-bound weightlifter writes anonymous poems online which made thousands of women cry. The popular lad wishes he had a true friend to confide in. The sweet young lady secretly and irrationaly hates everyone she works with. The guy who everyone hero worships beat his last girlfriend and put her in hospital. The guy who thinks his group of mates like him, they call him a "douche" behind his back. The woman you think think of as well mannered and elegant broke a man's heart because he didn't own a motorbike or a house. The homeless guy once saved someone from muggers. The person who everyone thinks is caring and lovely removes people suffering with depression from their friend list on Facebook. The guy on Facebook with a sick sence of humour told your friends off for them slagging you off behind your back. The man who owns the most porn you know of also raises money for hospices and animal shelters. The guy who goth girls look down on and say isn't goth enough has seen the Sisters of Mercy, Xmal Deutschland and Bauhaus live. The man who Christians hate because he's gay works for the emergency services and helped a little girl save her mother's life. The Asian guy on the street you hate because he's a "Paki" gave you sound advice over the phone to help you out of debt. The ugly scarred man next door fought in the First Gulf Conflict. The man you refused to employ for having tattoos pulled a man from a burning house. The woman you think is a slut is a virgin and is waiting for Mr. Right. The shop clerk you spoke to like filth for no reason has feelings, a partner and children. The person you think is a perv thinks that you're inspiring. The person you're friends with because you both smoke has nothing else in common with you. The good friend you stopped being friends with because they slagged off smoking created your favourite website. The guy you think is weird for being into spiritualism watches your back. The man you think is level-headed wants to masturbate at women on the London Underground. The beautiful woman who looks down her nose at everyone she walks past is a stripper. The fat guy you walk past who always says "Good morning!" and you think of as odd is a paramedic. The person you deliberately didn't invite to your party because you think they're odd admires you. The guy you did invite because you think they're amazing is single because all the women he's been with find him obnoxious. You don't want to date the cute curvy redhead because she has a "Few extra pounds", even though she'd do anything for you. The stick-thin blonde you've always lusted after would sooner watch reality TV than get romantic with you. The person with one arm writes books. The person who goes to the gym everyday loves only themself. The person who you bullied at school everyday got married. The person who bullied you at school everyday and everyone else thought was cool is on heroin.
Each of us have our own stories. Each person is a complex lifeform. We've all done it, but try not to judge someone just on one aspect of their persona. You may get a pleasant surprise or a nasty shock, depending on your first impression.
Tuesday 26 March 2013
World of Warcraft - answers needed in a world of hate
This is NOT a guide how to be an cyber-bully on World of Warcraft.
Oh, MMPORGs, what happened to you? I remember playing Everquest for the first time. I'd only been playing for about 10 minutes when this character called Llelu Greypelt (a Halfling druidess) cast some spells on my monk to enhance his fighting power and we remained friends on and offline until the day she sadly passed away in real life. During my time on EQ, I met many wonderful and friendly people and their characters, including Leibsok, Katmanduel, and Amberlioness. You'd send a shout out whilst in a capital city asking for advice or assistance and someone would give you advice or point you in the right direction. You could sell items you'd acquired in the Bazaar and the price battles were always friendly. When you wanted to level up, there was always a group to join. And on the rare occasion you encountered someone anti-social, everyone else would tell the offender to either lighten up or leave the game: we had no time for hostile people. Everything was fun. Sometimes competitive, but always fun.
Everquest II came along. some people joined it, some stayed with the original Everquest, and some felt the magic was gone and stopped playing altogether.
Then along came World of Warcraft. Created by Blizzard, everyone thought "Diablo II and Warcraft were kick ass, so how cool to play a character in, literally, the World of Warcraft!"
Sadly, the internet was more widely established, broadband was becoming cheaper and cheaper, and thus gave access to the dreaded cyber-bullies. The bane of online gaming. The true Scourge of Azeroth. These people are of different ages, races creeds, gender and sexual persuasions but they have one thing in common: they hate nice decent people. I don't mean they dislike them. I mean pure wrath-of-the-ancients HATE.
Imagine you've asked a genuine question like "I'm new here. Where's the bank?" or "Where's the best place for a level 10 shaman to solo?" Now, being normal well-raised people you'd expect to get answers like "At the main entrance to Orgrimmar, go along the path until you come to a fork in the path. Go left and the bank is to your left." or "For a shammy of your level, go to..." But no. On several servers (I've played on 9, just to make sure) the general responses are pretty much the same. "STFU, knaaaaab!" (whatever the hell a "Knaaaaab" is), "Ha! The noob doesn't know where the bank is! What an idiot!", "The bank's in your mom's ass!" (Nice...).
At this point, I need to say the examples of hostile responses are all genuine and haven't been made up by myself. They have all been witnessed during gameplay by myself and friends.
Whatever you do, do not try to reason with these psychos. They are either, well, psycho or they are kids who've picked up a few choice phrases from their parents and think it's awesome to say "GTFO!" to someone who hadn't even said anthing to anyone and was just minding their own business.
And to make matters worse, Blizzard take no decent action against trangressors of rules which clearly state that hostility and abuse are not tolerated. Tell that to the girl who stood up to someone who verbally abused her on WoW: she reported it and it resulted in the cyber-bully being temp banned for 24 hours ONLY and he went on to hack her email address, get pics of her and post them on sex sites. This was also reported to Blizzard who followed up with...nothing. Except allowing the cyber-bully to keep playing WoW as a reward.
Here are some further examples of verbal abuse which Blizzard punished the trangressor/trangressors with nothing more than a 24 hour ban:
- During someone's first time in an Instance (for the layman, an Instance is a mini-raid, just for a single group of players) they messed up on getting the monsters to attack: instead of just one monster following, 4 monsters followed them back to the group. The guy apologised profusely and this resulted in the other members of the group replying with "You are a complete fucking idiot.", "Your mom should have aborted you!", "If I find out where you live, I'll slit your throat!" amongst other things.
- Whilst waiting for a zeppelin from Undercity to Orgrimmar, someone told the only other player their to "STFU!" When the victim said "I never said a word.", the aggressor followed up with "I don't care! STFU and GTFO, knoob!" When this was ignored by the victim, the aggressor then made zone-wide shouts that the victim was "Gay and needs killing!" This was all directed by someone playing their first character which was level 27 at the time to someone who was playing their third level 85 character.
- Playing a Death Knight for the first time, some received a whispered (private) message saying "You're a cunt." when asked who it was, the aggressor said "Silence, cunt." thinking it was someone who knew him and was playing a joke, the victim asked "Do I know you?" and got the reply of "I doubt it. Why would I want to be friends with a cunt?"
- On a role play server (aimed at players who are interested in the aspect of acting the part, rather than just on the action aspect of the game), someone playing a dwarf was told by serveral people that "We have deep-seated problems with Dwarves." The player thought this was just plot and intrigue and that he could roleplay his way into favour with the guild he was invited into, but to no avail. "We honestly don't like you." When he asked if playing a different race would make a difference, he was told in and out of character "No. You obviously like that race so you go on playing that character. But I suggest you do it elsewhere. I'd leave immediately if I were you."
- A player character who died during an Instance (he was the "Tank" of the group. The tank's role is to keep the monster's attention solely on them, allowing the other members of the party, usually the physically weaker characters such as mages and warlocks to attack from range without incurring the monster's unwanted attention) because the healer of the group was too busy checking up on how much damage each player was dishing out, instead of their primary role of healing the tank. Instead of telling the healer off, the group decided it was the tank's fault. When he rightly pointed out politely that he died because the healer wasn't doing any healing, he was told "That's doesn't matter. You obviously don't know how to tank. Why don't you go fuck your mother?" When the tank said that his mother was dead, one of the group said "Good. Now go and die with her."
Yeah. These are the types of things players come out with whilst playing World of Warcraft. And if they are too young to have their own credit/debit card to pay the monthly subs, it means that an "responsible" adult is paying for them to play. So if you're a parent, that sweet little cherub of yours playing away on their PC in their room is either being subjected to some of the most horrific verbal abuse, or they are being "keyboard warriors", proving what a foul-mouthed, dragged up little scumbag they truly are from the safe zone of an internet connection. That, or the aggressor is old enough to pay their own bills in which case they are paying hard earned money to either be verbally abused (and quit. Who wants to pay to be sworn at?) or be awesome heroes by calling complete strangers online some of the sickest things you can imagine, again from the safety of a PC.
Nice, huh?
And should anyone who's been the target of these scumbags try to get answers from online forums, including the official Blizzard forums (moderated by Blizzard themselves), the abuse continues there, although the aggressors do reign-in the swearing and threats of rape and murder, and try to keep the abuse "eloquent". And you would not believe the idiocy that comes out of their mouths when replying to questions asked on WOW forums and messages about why so many players are so hostile!
- "It's how people are. You'll get it wherever you go. Deal with it." I think if I were quietly stood at a bus stop and someone out-of-the-blue told me to "Shut the fuck up!", I'd either walk away from the escaped mental patient or reply with "Get the fuck out of this civilised area and back to your ghetto, you disgusting...junkie...scum." They ought to be careful because the worst case scenario for verbally abusing someone for no reason could be getting their face punched in. Hence why they are keyboard warriors.
- "Ooh! Have we hurt your feelings? So sorry! Let's all recycle our rubbish, cry when pets suffer and wrap ourselves and each other in cotton wool!" So according to the aggressors, recycling rubbish and giving a shit about the environment is bad, hurting other peoples pets is good, and being civil to people you've only just met is pathetic? This type of scumbag must have had a very rough childhood, ie having his/her ribs cracked by their parents is what their parents called "affection".
- "Not knowing EXACTLY what to do in a raid or instance before you go in is no different to not knowing how to do you're job. If you don't know, you get fired." Point 1 - In employment, you don't train yourself, you get trained and you'd know this if you had a job (and no, living at home and sponging off your parents is not a "job"). Point 2 - if you were really that driven at playing WoW then surely you'd ask if everyone in the group were ready and knew what to do. Point 3 - if someone told you they were new to the raid/instance, would it have really been that difficult to keep an eye on them and help them through? Only start bitching if it's their 20th attempt and they've caused your 20th group wipe. If this is too difficult for aggressors then I'd advised against them having children:
"For fuck's sake! Our child still can't walk! What is wrong with the freak?"
"Uh...honey, she's only 2 months old."
"God damned noob!"
And point 3 - It's a GAME, not a job. And Blizzard don't pay me for playing Wow. I pay them. And I don't pay money to be abused by social rejects. If I wanted to pay for that level of abuse, I'd pay for everyone's drinks in a bar and then shout "What the fuck are all you bastards looking at? Why aren't you all dead already?" And paying £9 per month just so you can verbally abuse people is completely mental.
- "Your item level is so low, therfore you are shit at this game. You're not joining this raid/instance!" Dearest Dipshits, the best items are found in raids and instances. So if you are "forbidding" players from getting better gear, how else do you expect them to get better gear? And if you started your first ever character from scratch, you too must've been told that you're not allowed to join raid and instances which begs the question of how did you get your high-end gear? Answers on a postcard to "Cyber-bullying internet trolls on World of Warcraft come out with the most unbelievable bullshit!" competition.
- "I hate casual players like you!" Scumbags like to call those of us who have jobs to go to, or school for the younger players, "casual" players. Yes, I know we'd all love to be able to afford not having to work and instead while away our every waking moment playing World of Warcraft. Sadly, some of us haven't won the lottery, come from wealthy families or have parents to sponge off. We either have jobs to attend or go to school in order to get an education in order to get a nice job, as well as having real friends to visit and having other commitments such as family and hobbies such as going to the gym, sports and music bands, too much to dedicate 100% of our time to WoW. Scumbags see people who only play WoW for an hour or two as "casual" players who are useless. "Casual" players see scumbags as wasters with nothing more to fill their empty lives with than a game allday everyday.
- "You're a moron faggot for spelling correctly/making a smiley like ":o)" instead of ":)"/being nice, etc." Wrong. You, the cyber-bully are a moron for not knowing how to spell, and are small minded bigot. I think a lot of people would sooner team up with a gay dude with impecable manners than a "straight" whose hostility makes the creature from the film "Alien" look cute and lovely.
- "You ought to learn everything about the game beforehand instead of asking dumb questions!" Is this freak trying to tell us that if someone visited from out of town and politely asked where the bank or train station is, that the freak would reply with screams of abuse or even violence? If so, then this person is mentally dangerous and needs immediate psychiatric evaluation. Rest assured that if anyone asked me where a landmark was I'd give them directions, but that's because I had parents and was taught civility. Could you imagine this person working in a store?
"Excuse me? Could you tell me where the drills are?"
"Dumb-ass! Go find them yourself! What an idiot!"
- "We assure you that any player being found to be verbally abusive and threatening will be banned. and repeat offenders will be banned permanently." Bullshit. Complete and total bullshit. There is absolutely no deterrant for aggressors on WOW at all. The worst punishment EVER given out is the mediocre "24 hour ban", which a lot of aggressors use as a badge of honour. "You only had two 24 hour bans? I've had nine! And it would've been more if only the naaaaaaabs I threatened knew how to raise a ticket! lololololzorz!!!11" As mentioned above, some of the abuse has spilled out into the real world, escalating into one person having her picture plastered over several sex websites, as well as (officially reported to the police) a few people having threats of physical violence taken far enough for attempts to be made. Each one of these aggressors has one thing in common, that they returned to World of Warcraft after being banned for a mere 24 hours. On top of that, Blizzard claim that they can't tell you the process of them speaking with the aggressor and actual dialogue between themselves and the aggressor at the "hearing", and why? Because there was no serious investigation. Blizzard won't perma-ban any player no matter what is said because that would mean on less players paying subs. More sensible from a money-making point of view to fob the victim off with "We take this very seriously." and tell the aggressor "Please TRY to keep it toned down in future.", ban the aggressor for 24 hours and have the scumbag back in the game and paying. Blizzard seems to prefer quantity over quality.
Soooo...that seems to be the way in World of Warcraft. A few friends have said that surely this must be the case for all MMPORGs.
Plug time: Battlestar Galactica online. In that game you have to spend resources for the right to use the galactic-wide open channel at a cost of 1500 units of Tylium per "tell" that you want to send. Now, easiest (and that's saying something for BSGO) way to get Tylium is by mining asteroids. Each asteroid yields an average 800 units of Tylium and whilst mining you have to keep an eye out for the enemy and not every asteroid contains ore. This gives you an idea of the effort involved in sending one game-wide message:
30 asteroids scanned for ore. Only two have tylium ore. You mine them whilst avoiding enemy attack. You gain enough ore to send one game-wide message.
In other words, after all that effort you have very few, if any, aggressors in the game. At least I've not persoanlly witnessed anything like the level of abuse you'd see in WoW. And even if you do, they normally get told to be civil or leave the game. All in all, you tend find an overall better class of person playing BSGO than you do on WoW. When you have to pay in-character currency to send a message which reaches everyone in the game, would you want to waste that currency on being a verbally-offensive, verbally-abusive cyber-bully at the cost of not having enough currency left for ammo?
Then there is the question of what the cyber-bullies hope to achieve from their actions. Do they feel good about themselves for upsetting others? Do they feel they have made their own lives better? Is there a secret club where they get a "Badge of Honour" for the level of abuse and hate they dish out? If they are under the age of being able to get a debit/card, do they have parents or at least a responsible adult at least asking why their child/ward has been banned for 24 hours and if so, do those adult not care? Have these cyber-bullies not had a decent upbringing, teaching them values such as respect and manners? Are these people safe enough to be allowed out in public unsupervised.
And there are questions for Blizzard, too. Are they deliberately keeping the truly awful people in the game in order to keep the game "dynamic" and "interesting"? Why do they not take complaints from decent customers seriously? Do they honestly think a 24 hour ban is a powerful enough punishment for people who make threats of real-life violence and death against other players? In a court of law, a victim is allowed to hear the defence of the accused, so why is it that Blizzard claim that they are not allowed to tell victims exactly what happens between Blizzard the reported cyber-bullies? Are Blizzard wanting to wind World Of Warcraft down and eventually stop, with the easiest way of it by simply keeping the assholes playing it who put decent people off, and eventually the assholes get bored with each other?
Sure, Blizzard would lose some revenue because the hardcore scumbags won't be able to handle having to act like they had a proper upbringing and will leave rather than stay and keep their sick, twisted comments to themselves. But Blizzard ought to think of the positives taking proper action against cyber-bullies: Blizzard get a better reputation, Blizzard are seen as a caring and responsible company, with few or no scumbags playing the game will attract more and more decent players, things will get heated in discussion but with less threats of violence and hate-speak, and the game will attract more players meaning more money for Blizzard. Win-Win! Except for the cyber-bullies, of course. But they can always make a blog whinging about how hard-done-by they are at having their right to treat people like filth taken away from them, or join like-minded people on hate-crime forums.
In conclusion:
Decent people and true gamers - try boycotting World of Warcraft for one month. Vote with your wallet, as the saying goes. Show Blizzard what happens when they permit cyber-bullies to use WoW as platform for hate. Don't leave the game because why should you have to leave? Unless that's what Blizzard want.
Cyber-bullies - What a complete waste of time you are. What would you do without Blizzard's permission to get away with the hate, the threats of physical violence and all the other rubbish which spews out of your mind? Stand on street corners shouting abuse at people who aren't the same as you, and other weird shit, probably.
Blizzard - Shame on you. You make such point of telling everyone that you don't and won't tolerate abuse of any kind in your games. Yet time and again we hear reports of your PAYING CUSTOMERS being subjected to all manner of hate and abuse, and all because the very worst punishment meted out is a paltry ban from accessing the game for 24 hours. Any one from Blizzard reading this, or anyone who wants to pass this on to Blizzard, please do so, so Blizzard can give us a decent explanation. I'm not expecting a reply because I've tried contacting Blizzard on several occasions by email and not had a single reply, even to the two nice emails about my asking permission to write a novel based on Warcraft. But if Blizzard read this and actually do feel like replying, it will be interesting and eye-opening to find out what they truly think of this post and of the situation in general:
A game which used to be fun now full of hate-speak, hostility, verbal abuse and online threats (and sometimes face-to-face) of actual physical violence.
Oh, MMPORGs, what happened to you? I remember playing Everquest for the first time. I'd only been playing for about 10 minutes when this character called Llelu Greypelt (a Halfling druidess) cast some spells on my monk to enhance his fighting power and we remained friends on and offline until the day she sadly passed away in real life. During my time on EQ, I met many wonderful and friendly people and their characters, including Leibsok, Katmanduel, and Amberlioness. You'd send a shout out whilst in a capital city asking for advice or assistance and someone would give you advice or point you in the right direction. You could sell items you'd acquired in the Bazaar and the price battles were always friendly. When you wanted to level up, there was always a group to join. And on the rare occasion you encountered someone anti-social, everyone else would tell the offender to either lighten up or leave the game: we had no time for hostile people. Everything was fun. Sometimes competitive, but always fun.
Everquest II came along. some people joined it, some stayed with the original Everquest, and some felt the magic was gone and stopped playing altogether.
Then along came World of Warcraft. Created by Blizzard, everyone thought "Diablo II and Warcraft were kick ass, so how cool to play a character in, literally, the World of Warcraft!"
Sadly, the internet was more widely established, broadband was becoming cheaper and cheaper, and thus gave access to the dreaded cyber-bullies. The bane of online gaming. The true Scourge of Azeroth. These people are of different ages, races creeds, gender and sexual persuasions but they have one thing in common: they hate nice decent people. I don't mean they dislike them. I mean pure wrath-of-the-ancients HATE.
Imagine you've asked a genuine question like "I'm new here. Where's the bank?" or "Where's the best place for a level 10 shaman to solo?" Now, being normal well-raised people you'd expect to get answers like "At the main entrance to Orgrimmar, go along the path until you come to a fork in the path. Go left and the bank is to your left." or "For a shammy of your level, go to..." But no. On several servers (I've played on 9, just to make sure) the general responses are pretty much the same. "STFU, knaaaaab!" (whatever the hell a "Knaaaaab" is), "Ha! The noob doesn't know where the bank is! What an idiot!", "The bank's in your mom's ass!" (Nice...).
At this point, I need to say the examples of hostile responses are all genuine and haven't been made up by myself. They have all been witnessed during gameplay by myself and friends.
Whatever you do, do not try to reason with these psychos. They are either, well, psycho or they are kids who've picked up a few choice phrases from their parents and think it's awesome to say "GTFO!" to someone who hadn't even said anthing to anyone and was just minding their own business.
And to make matters worse, Blizzard take no decent action against trangressors of rules which clearly state that hostility and abuse are not tolerated. Tell that to the girl who stood up to someone who verbally abused her on WoW: she reported it and it resulted in the cyber-bully being temp banned for 24 hours ONLY and he went on to hack her email address, get pics of her and post them on sex sites. This was also reported to Blizzard who followed up with...nothing. Except allowing the cyber-bully to keep playing WoW as a reward.
Here are some further examples of verbal abuse which Blizzard punished the trangressor/trangressors with nothing more than a 24 hour ban:
- During someone's first time in an Instance (for the layman, an Instance is a mini-raid, just for a single group of players) they messed up on getting the monsters to attack: instead of just one monster following, 4 monsters followed them back to the group. The guy apologised profusely and this resulted in the other members of the group replying with "You are a complete fucking idiot.", "Your mom should have aborted you!", "If I find out where you live, I'll slit your throat!" amongst other things.
- Whilst waiting for a zeppelin from Undercity to Orgrimmar, someone told the only other player their to "STFU!" When the victim said "I never said a word.", the aggressor followed up with "I don't care! STFU and GTFO, knoob!" When this was ignored by the victim, the aggressor then made zone-wide shouts that the victim was "Gay and needs killing!" This was all directed by someone playing their first character which was level 27 at the time to someone who was playing their third level 85 character.
- Playing a Death Knight for the first time, some received a whispered (private) message saying "You're a cunt." when asked who it was, the aggressor said "Silence, cunt." thinking it was someone who knew him and was playing a joke, the victim asked "Do I know you?" and got the reply of "I doubt it. Why would I want to be friends with a cunt?"
- On a role play server (aimed at players who are interested in the aspect of acting the part, rather than just on the action aspect of the game), someone playing a dwarf was told by serveral people that "We have deep-seated problems with Dwarves." The player thought this was just plot and intrigue and that he could roleplay his way into favour with the guild he was invited into, but to no avail. "We honestly don't like you." When he asked if playing a different race would make a difference, he was told in and out of character "No. You obviously like that race so you go on playing that character. But I suggest you do it elsewhere. I'd leave immediately if I were you."
- A player character who died during an Instance (he was the "Tank" of the group. The tank's role is to keep the monster's attention solely on them, allowing the other members of the party, usually the physically weaker characters such as mages and warlocks to attack from range without incurring the monster's unwanted attention) because the healer of the group was too busy checking up on how much damage each player was dishing out, instead of their primary role of healing the tank. Instead of telling the healer off, the group decided it was the tank's fault. When he rightly pointed out politely that he died because the healer wasn't doing any healing, he was told "That's doesn't matter. You obviously don't know how to tank. Why don't you go fuck your mother?" When the tank said that his mother was dead, one of the group said "Good. Now go and die with her."
Yeah. These are the types of things players come out with whilst playing World of Warcraft. And if they are too young to have their own credit/debit card to pay the monthly subs, it means that an "responsible" adult is paying for them to play. So if you're a parent, that sweet little cherub of yours playing away on their PC in their room is either being subjected to some of the most horrific verbal abuse, or they are being "keyboard warriors", proving what a foul-mouthed, dragged up little scumbag they truly are from the safe zone of an internet connection. That, or the aggressor is old enough to pay their own bills in which case they are paying hard earned money to either be verbally abused (and quit. Who wants to pay to be sworn at?) or be awesome heroes by calling complete strangers online some of the sickest things you can imagine, again from the safety of a PC.
Nice, huh?
And should anyone who's been the target of these scumbags try to get answers from online forums, including the official Blizzard forums (moderated by Blizzard themselves), the abuse continues there, although the aggressors do reign-in the swearing and threats of rape and murder, and try to keep the abuse "eloquent". And you would not believe the idiocy that comes out of their mouths when replying to questions asked on WOW forums and messages about why so many players are so hostile!
- "It's how people are. You'll get it wherever you go. Deal with it." I think if I were quietly stood at a bus stop and someone out-of-the-blue told me to "Shut the fuck up!", I'd either walk away from the escaped mental patient or reply with "Get the fuck out of this civilised area and back to your ghetto, you disgusting...junkie...scum." They ought to be careful because the worst case scenario for verbally abusing someone for no reason could be getting their face punched in. Hence why they are keyboard warriors.
- "Ooh! Have we hurt your feelings? So sorry! Let's all recycle our rubbish, cry when pets suffer and wrap ourselves and each other in cotton wool!" So according to the aggressors, recycling rubbish and giving a shit about the environment is bad, hurting other peoples pets is good, and being civil to people you've only just met is pathetic? This type of scumbag must have had a very rough childhood, ie having his/her ribs cracked by their parents is what their parents called "affection".
- "Not knowing EXACTLY what to do in a raid or instance before you go in is no different to not knowing how to do you're job. If you don't know, you get fired." Point 1 - In employment, you don't train yourself, you get trained and you'd know this if you had a job (and no, living at home and sponging off your parents is not a "job"). Point 2 - if you were really that driven at playing WoW then surely you'd ask if everyone in the group were ready and knew what to do. Point 3 - if someone told you they were new to the raid/instance, would it have really been that difficult to keep an eye on them and help them through? Only start bitching if it's their 20th attempt and they've caused your 20th group wipe. If this is too difficult for aggressors then I'd advised against them having children:
"For fuck's sake! Our child still can't walk! What is wrong with the freak?"
"Uh...honey, she's only 2 months old."
"God damned noob!"
And point 3 - It's a GAME, not a job. And Blizzard don't pay me for playing Wow. I pay them. And I don't pay money to be abused by social rejects. If I wanted to pay for that level of abuse, I'd pay for everyone's drinks in a bar and then shout "What the fuck are all you bastards looking at? Why aren't you all dead already?" And paying £9 per month just so you can verbally abuse people is completely mental.
- "Your item level is so low, therfore you are shit at this game. You're not joining this raid/instance!" Dearest Dipshits, the best items are found in raids and instances. So if you are "forbidding" players from getting better gear, how else do you expect them to get better gear? And if you started your first ever character from scratch, you too must've been told that you're not allowed to join raid and instances which begs the question of how did you get your high-end gear? Answers on a postcard to "Cyber-bullying internet trolls on World of Warcraft come out with the most unbelievable bullshit!" competition.
- "I hate casual players like you!" Scumbags like to call those of us who have jobs to go to, or school for the younger players, "casual" players. Yes, I know we'd all love to be able to afford not having to work and instead while away our every waking moment playing World of Warcraft. Sadly, some of us haven't won the lottery, come from wealthy families or have parents to sponge off. We either have jobs to attend or go to school in order to get an education in order to get a nice job, as well as having real friends to visit and having other commitments such as family and hobbies such as going to the gym, sports and music bands, too much to dedicate 100% of our time to WoW. Scumbags see people who only play WoW for an hour or two as "casual" players who are useless. "Casual" players see scumbags as wasters with nothing more to fill their empty lives with than a game allday everyday.
- "You're a moron faggot for spelling correctly/making a smiley like ":o)" instead of ":)"/being nice, etc." Wrong. You, the cyber-bully are a moron for not knowing how to spell, and are small minded bigot. I think a lot of people would sooner team up with a gay dude with impecable manners than a "straight" whose hostility makes the creature from the film "Alien" look cute and lovely.
- "You ought to learn everything about the game beforehand instead of asking dumb questions!" Is this freak trying to tell us that if someone visited from out of town and politely asked where the bank or train station is, that the freak would reply with screams of abuse or even violence? If so, then this person is mentally dangerous and needs immediate psychiatric evaluation. Rest assured that if anyone asked me where a landmark was I'd give them directions, but that's because I had parents and was taught civility. Could you imagine this person working in a store?
"Excuse me? Could you tell me where the drills are?"
"Dumb-ass! Go find them yourself! What an idiot!"
- "We assure you that any player being found to be verbally abusive and threatening will be banned. and repeat offenders will be banned permanently." Bullshit. Complete and total bullshit. There is absolutely no deterrant for aggressors on WOW at all. The worst punishment EVER given out is the mediocre "24 hour ban", which a lot of aggressors use as a badge of honour. "You only had two 24 hour bans? I've had nine! And it would've been more if only the naaaaaaabs I threatened knew how to raise a ticket! lololololzorz!!!11" As mentioned above, some of the abuse has spilled out into the real world, escalating into one person having her picture plastered over several sex websites, as well as (officially reported to the police) a few people having threats of physical violence taken far enough for attempts to be made. Each one of these aggressors has one thing in common, that they returned to World of Warcraft after being banned for a mere 24 hours. On top of that, Blizzard claim that they can't tell you the process of them speaking with the aggressor and actual dialogue between themselves and the aggressor at the "hearing", and why? Because there was no serious investigation. Blizzard won't perma-ban any player no matter what is said because that would mean on less players paying subs. More sensible from a money-making point of view to fob the victim off with "We take this very seriously." and tell the aggressor "Please TRY to keep it toned down in future.", ban the aggressor for 24 hours and have the scumbag back in the game and paying. Blizzard seems to prefer quantity over quality.
Soooo...that seems to be the way in World of Warcraft. A few friends have said that surely this must be the case for all MMPORGs.
Plug time: Battlestar Galactica online. In that game you have to spend resources for the right to use the galactic-wide open channel at a cost of 1500 units of Tylium per "tell" that you want to send. Now, easiest (and that's saying something for BSGO) way to get Tylium is by mining asteroids. Each asteroid yields an average 800 units of Tylium and whilst mining you have to keep an eye out for the enemy and not every asteroid contains ore. This gives you an idea of the effort involved in sending one game-wide message:
30 asteroids scanned for ore. Only two have tylium ore. You mine them whilst avoiding enemy attack. You gain enough ore to send one game-wide message.
In other words, after all that effort you have very few, if any, aggressors in the game. At least I've not persoanlly witnessed anything like the level of abuse you'd see in WoW. And even if you do, they normally get told to be civil or leave the game. All in all, you tend find an overall better class of person playing BSGO than you do on WoW. When you have to pay in-character currency to send a message which reaches everyone in the game, would you want to waste that currency on being a verbally-offensive, verbally-abusive cyber-bully at the cost of not having enough currency left for ammo?
Then there is the question of what the cyber-bullies hope to achieve from their actions. Do they feel good about themselves for upsetting others? Do they feel they have made their own lives better? Is there a secret club where they get a "Badge of Honour" for the level of abuse and hate they dish out? If they are under the age of being able to get a debit/card, do they have parents or at least a responsible adult at least asking why their child/ward has been banned for 24 hours and if so, do those adult not care? Have these cyber-bullies not had a decent upbringing, teaching them values such as respect and manners? Are these people safe enough to be allowed out in public unsupervised.
And there are questions for Blizzard, too. Are they deliberately keeping the truly awful people in the game in order to keep the game "dynamic" and "interesting"? Why do they not take complaints from decent customers seriously? Do they honestly think a 24 hour ban is a powerful enough punishment for people who make threats of real-life violence and death against other players? In a court of law, a victim is allowed to hear the defence of the accused, so why is it that Blizzard claim that they are not allowed to tell victims exactly what happens between Blizzard the reported cyber-bullies? Are Blizzard wanting to wind World Of Warcraft down and eventually stop, with the easiest way of it by simply keeping the assholes playing it who put decent people off, and eventually the assholes get bored with each other?
Sure, Blizzard would lose some revenue because the hardcore scumbags won't be able to handle having to act like they had a proper upbringing and will leave rather than stay and keep their sick, twisted comments to themselves. But Blizzard ought to think of the positives taking proper action against cyber-bullies: Blizzard get a better reputation, Blizzard are seen as a caring and responsible company, with few or no scumbags playing the game will attract more and more decent players, things will get heated in discussion but with less threats of violence and hate-speak, and the game will attract more players meaning more money for Blizzard. Win-Win! Except for the cyber-bullies, of course. But they can always make a blog whinging about how hard-done-by they are at having their right to treat people like filth taken away from them, or join like-minded people on hate-crime forums.
In conclusion:
Decent people and true gamers - try boycotting World of Warcraft for one month. Vote with your wallet, as the saying goes. Show Blizzard what happens when they permit cyber-bullies to use WoW as platform for hate. Don't leave the game because why should you have to leave? Unless that's what Blizzard want.
Cyber-bullies - What a complete waste of time you are. What would you do without Blizzard's permission to get away with the hate, the threats of physical violence and all the other rubbish which spews out of your mind? Stand on street corners shouting abuse at people who aren't the same as you, and other weird shit, probably.
Blizzard - Shame on you. You make such point of telling everyone that you don't and won't tolerate abuse of any kind in your games. Yet time and again we hear reports of your PAYING CUSTOMERS being subjected to all manner of hate and abuse, and all because the very worst punishment meted out is a paltry ban from accessing the game for 24 hours. Any one from Blizzard reading this, or anyone who wants to pass this on to Blizzard, please do so, so Blizzard can give us a decent explanation. I'm not expecting a reply because I've tried contacting Blizzard on several occasions by email and not had a single reply, even to the two nice emails about my asking permission to write a novel based on Warcraft. But if Blizzard read this and actually do feel like replying, it will be interesting and eye-opening to find out what they truly think of this post and of the situation in general:
A game which used to be fun now full of hate-speak, hostility, verbal abuse and online threats (and sometimes face-to-face) of actual physical violence.
Wednesday 20 March 2013
Comparing someone's problem to another problem = crap argument
Firstly, this is not a slur or attack on my friends. If it were, I'd make it personal and tell them I didn't like them anymore. Any friends reading this ought to know this is just a rant.
Recently, there has been the worst kind of counter-argument from both the public and the UK government in regard to the state of the United Kingdom, and it goes a little something like this:
"Other countries are worse off so we should all stop moaning. Stop being unpatriotic. If you don't like it in the UK, then leave."
Point one - I truly hope that this kind of two-bit psychology isn't applied to other aspects of peoples' lives. For example, "So you've got emphysema? Other people have worse illnesses than you, so stop moaning!" Yes, other places and people may be going through worse issues than others, but that does not instantly make the "lesser" problem magically vanish. It simply makes the troll look callous. And no-one should ever have to think along the lines of "I've got a serious problem, but I'd best keep quiet in case someone has a bigger problem and tell me off for it." Would these trolls like if they got some bad news from the Doctor? "Yes, you've got HIV. But my last patient found out they have cancer, so stop moaning because they are worse off than you!" Or about a job you desperately need? "Yes, you may not have got the job meaning you're on the verge of losing your home. But there are people out there who can't even get a job because they are homeless, so stop whinging!"
Point two - Unpatriotic, eh? I'd say the opposite, in that if someone is so incensed and angered at how their country and it's people are being treated and want to see a positive change then they ARE being patriotic. And that someone who wants us all to "Shut up and put up" and they are happy to watch the people get down-trodden can't have much love for the country.
Point three - I can't believe anyone would be so gullible as to believe that a country's leader is not responsible for what is going on. If they have let things happen without their knowing about it and have taken no action to resolve the issue, then they are incompetent and unfit for their role. If they don't know what is going on and allow the issues to continue, then they are culpable and unfit for their role. The best two examples of this in the UK are a) ATOS forcing people who are unfit for work off of benefits, only for those same people to be told by the Job Centre "You can't work. You're physically/mentally unable to.", thus rendering them without any money. And b) the NHS scandal where hundreds of needless deaths occurred due to complete lack of care (E.G. people without water resorting to drinking from flower vases, old disabled people at home being forgotten about and found dead from lack of regular home visits, etc.). In scandals which are affecting large groups of people, the nation's leader has to shoulder some of the responsibility. Simply saying "I may be in charge but I didn't know. It was someone else's fault." is an admission of incompetence as well as sounding juvenile. "Don't tell me off for stealing sweets! My mate's made me do it!"
Yes, other countries and their people are going through very difficult times. But they are there, we are here and both knowing of each others problems isn't going to make things better or the issues magically vanish.
A lady on BBC's Question Time programme last week stood up and said "People in Iraq are having a much worse time than people in the UK, so the UK ought to count itself lucky." I turned off because the imbecile had lost their validity at using such infantile tactics to steer the discussion away from the simple fact that the people of the UK in general are unhappy.
What does make a difference is the population of the UK showing some solidarity for a change, raising our voices and showing our displeasure at the status quo, venting spleen to our friends and thus raising awareness of issues.
Unless, of course, you don't give a damn and secretly despise those you claim to be friends with :)
Recently, there has been the worst kind of counter-argument from both the public and the UK government in regard to the state of the United Kingdom, and it goes a little something like this:
"Other countries are worse off so we should all stop moaning. Stop being unpatriotic. If you don't like it in the UK, then leave."
Point one - I truly hope that this kind of two-bit psychology isn't applied to other aspects of peoples' lives. For example, "So you've got emphysema? Other people have worse illnesses than you, so stop moaning!" Yes, other places and people may be going through worse issues than others, but that does not instantly make the "lesser" problem magically vanish. It simply makes the troll look callous. And no-one should ever have to think along the lines of "I've got a serious problem, but I'd best keep quiet in case someone has a bigger problem and tell me off for it." Would these trolls like if they got some bad news from the Doctor? "Yes, you've got HIV. But my last patient found out they have cancer, so stop moaning because they are worse off than you!" Or about a job you desperately need? "Yes, you may not have got the job meaning you're on the verge of losing your home. But there are people out there who can't even get a job because they are homeless, so stop whinging!"
Point two - Unpatriotic, eh? I'd say the opposite, in that if someone is so incensed and angered at how their country and it's people are being treated and want to see a positive change then they ARE being patriotic. And that someone who wants us all to "Shut up and put up" and they are happy to watch the people get down-trodden can't have much love for the country.
Point three - I can't believe anyone would be so gullible as to believe that a country's leader is not responsible for what is going on. If they have let things happen without their knowing about it and have taken no action to resolve the issue, then they are incompetent and unfit for their role. If they don't know what is going on and allow the issues to continue, then they are culpable and unfit for their role. The best two examples of this in the UK are a) ATOS forcing people who are unfit for work off of benefits, only for those same people to be told by the Job Centre "You can't work. You're physically/mentally unable to.", thus rendering them without any money. And b) the NHS scandal where hundreds of needless deaths occurred due to complete lack of care (E.G. people without water resorting to drinking from flower vases, old disabled people at home being forgotten about and found dead from lack of regular home visits, etc.). In scandals which are affecting large groups of people, the nation's leader has to shoulder some of the responsibility. Simply saying "I may be in charge but I didn't know. It was someone else's fault." is an admission of incompetence as well as sounding juvenile. "Don't tell me off for stealing sweets! My mate's made me do it!"
Yes, other countries and their people are going through very difficult times. But they are there, we are here and both knowing of each others problems isn't going to make things better or the issues magically vanish.
A lady on BBC's Question Time programme last week stood up and said "People in Iraq are having a much worse time than people in the UK, so the UK ought to count itself lucky." I turned off because the imbecile had lost their validity at using such infantile tactics to steer the discussion away from the simple fact that the people of the UK in general are unhappy.
What does make a difference is the population of the UK showing some solidarity for a change, raising our voices and showing our displeasure at the status quo, venting spleen to our friends and thus raising awareness of issues.
Unless, of course, you don't give a damn and secretly despise those you claim to be friends with :)
Thursday 21 February 2013
Fear and Loathing on Facebook
Here are some of the things I've learned whilst on Facebook. PLEASE NOTE that these are other peoples' opinions and not my own. Also, these opinions were not just directed at me but mostly at friends of mine too, which makes me worry about the people they choose to call "friends".
2 – If you delete someone from your friends list because they are going through an emotional bad patch, your other friends will think you are cool. However, if you are going through an emotional bad patch, instead of friends rallying they will think of you as depressing, a freak and will delete you from their friends list.
3 – Some people think they are heroic crusaders by telling you how they’d hit you if they heard you telling sick jokes. These crusaders are the very same people who, if confronted with a perpetrator of a serious crime (the subject of your afore-mentioned joke), would go pale in fear and become silent, with all bravery and need to hit out disappearing.
4 – Entrapment by adding work colleagues onto your friends list just so you can use what they post as a means of getting them fired is perfectly acceptable, regardless that in a few countries this practice is classed as cyber-stalking [citation needed] and that the person you helped get fired may live in the same town as you.
5 – Someone who has sex with several different people in one day is considered cool by their peers. However, if you tell them sincerely that they're pretty/handsome, they and their peers are well within their rights to tell everyone that you are “rapey”. Remember that promiscuity is good, being complimentary is bad.
6 – A man who goes to the pub all day every day and screws almost every woman in town is thought of as cool and popular. A man who works hard, spends his money on rent, prefers to socialise at weekends and just wants to meet Miss Right is thought of as a dick, a weirdo and an idiot.
7 – When a friend is dealing with a bereavement and makes a post about it, the more horrific and callous the comment are made, the more highly thought of the troll is.
8 – Contrary-wise, the more someone who constantly posts about their many illnesses and how they are going to get some gang or other to beat someone up for them keeps posting, the cooler that person is. Yet someone who is normally happy and well makes a rare post about being ill or depressed MUST be told that they are “attention seeking” and that “Everyone is fed up of hearing it”
9 – People who steal stuff (such as jewellery and romantic keepsakes) from your person and your home are amazing and popular, People who treat you and your home with respect are freaks.
10 – Ignore as many of the truly nice friends you have. Never wish them a Happy Birthday. Never wish them well when they get engaged/move home/get a new job/etc. Never respond when they leave you a comment or message asking how you are. Keep out of touch with them. The only time you should acknowledge them is if they post something you don’t agree with (“Reality TV sucks”, “iPhones are rubbish”, "Wood flooring is better than carpet” for example), then you get in touch with them for the first time in years by commenting, telling them you disagree and therefore they are shit.
11 – if a friend has been upset and makes a rash and heated post (“I’ve been dumped! All men are bastards!” and “I thought fans of Band X were cool, but two of them who I thought were mates called me a nonce! Fucking Band X fans!” as examples) do NOT comment with “Damn. They must’ve really upset you. Hope you’re okay.” Only concentrate on how their outburst has upset you and add to their misery. “How dare you! I like Band X! For insulting a band that is far more important to me than someone I know personally, you’re no longer my friend!” Remember that a band/book/film/etc is obviously going to be of more help in your hour of need than a real live friend.
12 – Whenever someone posts a weblink/meme/comment about yet another injustice done by the government or injustice toward certain groups such as animals (Everyone worries about tigers becoming extinct but no one worries about poor little hedgehogs getting run over) or music (people say heavy metal is shit for having lyrics like "But one fear I kept to myself/How I prayed that you loved no one else..." but RnB be is genius for having lyrics like "You a stupid/ you a, you a stupid ho!") etc., always make sure you show support to the government scumbag, NOT your friend. “ATOS forcing a woman with no arms to go for a examination in case her arms have grown back? I’d love to know where you get your facts from! I think ATOS are awesome!” ALWAYS use the line "I'd love to know where you get your facts from!" as making your friends feel like you're always against them is amazing.
13 – Leave nasty snide comments on EVERY post you read, even if the post is just your friends’ way of venting spleen. Always go by the rule of “If the dickhead didn’t want me to mock their granddad’s funeral and tell him to stop whinging about wanting a new job, he ought to bottle it up instead of being allowed to vent!” Contrary-wise, after all the grief you’ve caused, the moment gives you a dose of your own medicine, get all your cronies to rally to your cause because you can dish it out but can’t take it.
13 – Leave nasty snide comments on EVERY post you read, even if the post is just your friends’ way of venting spleen. Always go by the rule of “If the dickhead didn’t want me to mock their granddad’s funeral and tell him to stop whinging about wanting a new job, he ought to bottle it up instead of being allowed to vent!” Contrary-wise, after all the grief you’ve caused, the moment gives you a dose of your own medicine, get all your cronies to rally to your cause because you can dish it out but can’t take it.
14 – Keep in regular contact with hangers-on, sycophants and those who nurture your inner “Dick head”. Never with the few decent people who genuinely look up to you because they’ve seen the decent and awesome side of you when none of those twats you hang out with were around.
15 – If someone who is cool gives you moral support by leaving one or two words of support on one of your posts, make sure you get your psychologically messed-up cronies to demand “Who the fuck is this nice supportive person?” and “How dare they support you and use your page as a soapbox, the bastard!”, as well as using your own terms like “Ignoring elephants”, “Observing the radishes” and other insane ramblings which make no sense at all. And should your friend dare to apologise for inadvertently upsetting you and your cronies, give a final twist of the knife by telling them their sincere apology has made you “Vexed” or “Irate”.
16 – If a friend works in a specific field (guitar making, mobile phones, car repair, etc.), logic dictates they will know what they are talking about. So when they express an opinion on something they deal with every day, make sure you put them down with opinions founded on what you heard in a pub or on your own fanboy knowledge. For example –
Friend – “Peavey amps/Fiat/iPhones suck, big time!”
You – “The only thing which sucks is you!”
17 – Make sure you forbid people from saying certain words, phrases and comparisons. Always be deadly serious, never do it tongue-in-cheek. Remember that, according to you, the word “Cunt” is the most offensive word ever and likening dodgy world leaders to Hitler belittles the Holocaust, yet trying to control what people say is cool and the word “Frape” doesn’t belittle rape victims because “Frape” is a cool thing to say (see point three – you can say “Frape”, but not tell a rape joke. Rape jokes are not cool, this is only an example).
18 – Contrary to point 17, if you use a certain word, phrase or comparison which has genuinely upset someone and they let you know politely, you can take umbrage at having your freedom of speech screwed with and tell them to “Fuck off and stop being so sensitive!” Remember that hypocrisy rules.
19 – Tobacco and smoking are untouchable and holy. Anyone who speaks out against smoking is evil. Even if you’ve been friends with someone for years and they’ve been nothing but complimentary, once they say something negative about smoking, they have become your nemesis. You must go psycho on them. Remove them from your friends list, stop being their friend and rally your friends to spread rumours about the non-smoking scum. Post memes about how amazing smoking is and to hell with people who may be grieving over the loss of a friend or relative who passed away from a smoking-related illness. Tobacco products have been awesome to you and everyone else who use them. What on Earth has that friend done for you except be a friend to you in good times and bad, the filth?
20 – Made no sense. Deleted.
21 – Contrary to point 20, if you see a comment or picture posted by a hate group aimed at the community you’ve decided needs to be defended by you, shit bricks in fear and say nothing. Dictating what can and cannot be said is only big and brave and tough when aiming your diatribe at friends. When dealing with real-deal bad guys, bury your head in the sand and pretend you never saw it. This has worked for cowards for thousands of years and it can work for you, too.
22 – When a friend tries to raise awareness for a good cause (stop cruelty to animals, stop ATOS ruining lives, save an historic building, etc.) get hostile with them. The bare minimum of hate which you must respond with is “You don’t change anything by posting on Facebook so stop wasting our time.” Only posts about an awful dance routine, reality TV shows or whatever else is currently dreadful and annoying the intelligent people can be considered worthy causes.
23 – At least once a month, make sure you post something about smoking or your narcotic of choice. Like saying “It’s my choice to smoke, so to hell with you!” or a pic/graph showing the benefits of heroin. It doesn’t matter if a friend had a friend or relative succumb to tobacco or drug related illnesses, they are being insensitive bastards about your addiction. Anyone who doesn’t think cancer, heart failure, overdoses, etc are cool, unfriend them immediately.
24 – Vast-sweeping comments/broad generalisations. When the opportunity rises, ALWAYS make sure to throw around terms like “Vast-sweeping comments”, “Broad generalisations” and derivatives thereof, especially if the original comment is similar to examples such as “A FEW Christian fundamentalists…” or “SOME track suit wearers…”, because words like “Few” and “Some” do NOT mean “All”, but you want the world to know how you catastrophically failed in GCSE/O-Level English Lit. So what if your friend said “A couple of…”? You go ahead and translate words like couple, few, handful and some to mean “All”.
25 – If your friends use a social networking site to be social with you, whether it’s inviting you to join an online game, right up to inviting you to a party even a wedding, you must respond with eighty different levels of anger and hate. Do these imbeciles think you’re on a social network site to be social? You’re there to be noticed, praised and worshipped for how unsocial you are!
26 – Always be hyper-choosy about who you have on you’re friends list and remain loyal to your clique of like-minded hostile arrogant twerps. Occasionally you will encounter someone who is nice, quirky, a little odd and outspoken but generally nice and accidentally add them to your friends list. But worry not because either your clique will point out your mistake or you’ll suss out the new person and you can always unfriend that interloper right away. After all, the last person you want on your friends list is someone with “A heart of gold” but is “Common as muck. Especially if you earn more than £30k per annum, have been to university, have a posh accent, only ever attend wine and cheese parties rather than go to “Shindigs”, and only ever read Booker Prise-winning books. Why sully yourself by associating with someone who likes horror movies, reads James Herbert and Franz Kafka and Catherine Cookson, likes Red Dwarf and The Mighty Boosh, laughs at sick jokes but would gladly do anything for a friend, when you have your clique of insufferable snobs who you can enjoy a good game of “Look down upon the poor” and secretly despise you behind your back?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
All in all, this is not an exhaustive list but it does give you at the very least an idea of how SOME and not ALL (see what I did there!) people can be downright nasty to folks with whom they are meant to be friends.
I understand that it’s impossible to be friends with everyone, that one person just may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that you can’t please everyone all of the time, but there are ways and means of speaking with people and the above examples are a sure-fire way of not only how NOT to treat your friends but also a sure-fire way of making yourself damned unpopular if you DO live by these guide lines.
I know not everyone is perfect and I’m not expecting everyone to be, but it’s so infuriating to see so much hostility between people who are meant to be friends with each other. People being removed from friends list because they are sad about their partner leaving them, for wanting to host a party and for being told that a friend fancies them. People only ever getting touch in order to bring someone down.
If a friend being in need is your reason for not wanting to be your friend anymore, then you’re not much of a person. How callous and vile must someone be for only concentrating of the negative things someone says about being lonely and wishing they could find love, but ignoring all the jokes and even the fun times that have been had? How heartless to say “You’re only here to entertain me. For daring to show your human side and tell everyone you’re actually feeling depressed for being unemployed…delete.”?
And if someone does something not to your liking, like telling a Fritzl joke, or singing a Steven Lynch song, don’t try act all big and brave by telling them public absolute twaddle like “Sick jokes are my trigger for punching people like you in the face!” or “The last person who told that awful story came very close to getting their legs broken by me!” No one will think you’re big, brave and heroic. Anyone can threaten someone on the internet, especially someone who you think is a friend and won’t fight back. If you honestly feel so strongly about it then just block them.
I just thought it might be an idea to bring this to everyone’s attention. And if anyone is going to take this as a direct personal attack, don’t have a go at me for your guilty conscious. Instead, do what I do, take it on board and decide whether or not you feel you should change, apologise, or stay as you are.
Or as SOME folks like to say, stop whinging and suck it up!
Or as SOME folks like to say, stop whinging and suck it up!
Laters!
Tuesday 5 February 2013
I am not a number! I am free man!
Good evening.
Most online journals begin with the author telling you about themselves. I'll come to that later. Right now, I want to talk about a subject I feel strongly about.
Online cowardice.
In particular, a very special breed of online coward, that being the people in question being all big and brave when dealing with someone who cracks a joke but then freezing with fear when dealing with a real-deal bad guy.
So imagine the scene: you're with friends either face to face or online, you're all telling jokes and you tell a sick joke. No malice, no underlying admission that you hate the type of person you're joking about, just a joke. Someone pipes up and tells you they don't like your joke and think you are a bad person for telling it.
Here are some comments from these self-righteous moral crusaders -
"Rape jokes are my trigger for hitting people like you."
"If I had heard you telling a joke like that in person, I'd have punched you."
"Making a joke about Subject X is actually worse than perpetrating it for real."
You get the idea.
Now, and this is the best bit, what happens when these Defenders of Other Peoples' Faith do when confronted with a real-deal rapist/animal abuser/neo Nazi/etc? I'll tell you what happens. That brave hero who told you he was "So close to punching your head in!" for telling a sick joke is out of the window along with his self-respect faster than you can say "Pussy".
I've stood face-to-face with a neo-Nazi and on another someone who actually bragged about raping someone. And to be fair to them I said the same to both, in so many words, that if they fucked off out off the country then I'd leave it at that, but if not then it's only the fact that we were in a public place that they're in one piece.
But the very same people who claim that as the defender of Earth it's their sacred duty to tell you "If you weren't a friend, I'd kill you for telling that joke!" are the very same people who, if confronted with someone who has actually committed the subject of the joke, would run a mile whilst screaming like a little kid being chased by the Devil himself.
So this lesson has taught us that moral crusaders are only brave when picking on friends for telling jokes. But if they see a friend in deep shit and being attacked, don't expect that moral crusader to rush to your aid as they'll be too busy rushing to the nearest panic room.
I've been on the receiving end of a verbal joke which was about something I was currently going through and I didn't find funny. I didn't make a big song and dance about it, and instead just mentioned later on when we were alone that I looked a bit glum because of the joke and all I got was "Grow up and stop being so bloody sensitive!"
Paradoxically, that very same person a few years later ticked me off in front of a large group of people...for telling a joke. Go figure...
And while we're on the subject, what is it with people going ape-shit when it comes to certain ways of expressing yourself? Like "Do NOT say such-and-such as you may offend Minority X!" or "When you make a comparison between X and Y, you're belittling what Z went through."
Point 1 - Having spoken with an old school friend who was born Pakistan
Point 2 - When someone likens their political leader to a despot like Pol Pot, Stalin or Hitler, it's because they feel passionately about their country and how it's being run. It's not because (and I'm quoting remarks by the so-called Intelligentsia "I've got a degree so I am better than you, prole!") they are stupid, dull-witted, moronic, uneducated, idiotic, etc. It's because treating the physically and mentally disabled as non-citizens and a burden on the state is exactly how despots in the past have treated the disabled. As for belittling what genuine victims of those despots went through, the grandfather of a friend of mine was Jewish AND went through the horror of the Holocaust, and he himself said how he felt Thatcher, Heseltine et al reminded him of a certain socialist party. Are people like him being told that by making their similes that they are belittling themselves? I won't because 1 - they were there, I wasn't. 2 - Dictating what they can and cannot say might be a bit too reminiscent for them and make them want to brain me.
All in all, please stop crusading against your friends. If you're that vehement about what others' might find offensive, tell your complaints to the BNP.
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